For probably the last 5 or 6 years, I haven’t slept.
Or at least haven’t slept normally. Which, for me, means waking up several times a night, waking up at wildly inappropriate hours, waking up well before my alarm, thinking about real-life while asleep and never really feeling quite rested when I woke.
To remedy this, I started drinking coffee in ever-increasing amounts. Half a pot became one pot which became “one pot prior to leaving the house; coffee house stop on the way to work; office coffee all day; coffee house again in the evening.”
I loathe the withdrawal, and as any coffee drinker can tell you, the only cure is more coffee. I get so cranky! Every little irritation feels like cause for revolt, and yet I have no choice but to pay attention to everything except what I’m supposed to be doing.
So three weeks after quitting all caffeine (regular, decaf, soda, tea… all of it), I now know how sensitive I am to it. I had headaches for the first 10 days, and still had poor sleep for the first three nights. Yesterday afternoon, I had some chocolate. Sure enough, at bedtime last night, I’m wondering why I can’t sleep. That’s how sensitive I apparently am. For a brain that doesn’t really turn off, caffeine is ultimately exhausting.
It’s unfortunate for me that coffee is just about my favorite thing in the whole world. But a good motivator to stay away from it is how well I’ve been sleeping. I’ve had about a week now of sleeping like I’ve never slept before. I can only imagine how much I need to make up in order to repair my body & mood after years of espressing away my fatigue.